Saturday, December 5, 2009

Adequate Assistance

For all of you busy women out there –especially moms- has there ever been a time when you were distracted in the shower, or your normal routine was interrupted, and you got out of the shower with one leg shaved and the other not? Then as you towel off, you realize your mistake. Now it is time to decide. Do I go right back in and take care of it now? Or can it wait for one more day. First you think of what you are wearing that day. If it is slacks, you may let it go until tomorrow’s shower –or the next day (because we moms know that sometimes a shower just doesn’t happen every day), or you can hop back in (if you are not running late) and take care of it right now. If you have something big going on that day and need to be your most confident, then that is a no-brainer! But what is SO funny about all this is that we EVEN HAVE TO THINK IT OVER AND DECIDE! It just makes me laugh. When I was single, I never forgot to shave one leg, and if I had, then I would not have hesitated for one moment to get back in and take care of it!

Our poor husbands! On the days when we feel that it just is not worth it, they must have the funniest things going through their heads when we crawl into bed that night! Then they feel one distinctively prickly leg, and one decidedly smooth. I bet my Sweet Geek thinks to himself, “I don’t even WANT to know!” and wisely keeps his wonderings to himself.

And WHY does he think that? Because men NEVER have a little monkey pulling back the shower curtain to report a sibling or ask where such-and-such is -as they scramble to cover themselves, balance one leg on the edge of the tub, keep the water from spraying the bathroom they have to clean, and catch all the bottles as they fall off the shower caddy! They simply take a shower, wash a little, shave a small portion of their body (only face! Or not even a whole face if you are Sweet Geek!), and get out! They simply don’t understand! I would give my favorite pair of shoes (which in my book is saying a LOT) to have just ONE little glimpse into his mind as he contemplates the one smooth leg and the other distinctively hedge-like.

Well, thanks to THIS

Little Monkey,

I never have to worry about that again. As I have been battling a nasty cold his week, I have had a sweet little 3-year-old nurse –who has made it her job to make sure that I was comfortable and taken care of. Over the last few days she has been mostly by my side, and hands me tissues (which I add to the five unused ones already in my lap that she handed me three seconds ago), tells Sweet Geek I need medicine, “massages” my back and shows such darling, genuine concern for me that this Mommy’s heart is touched by her sweet little Monkey Shines’ compassionate heart.

On Saturday I decided to take a nice, relaxing, quiet bath to calm me –and also hoped that the steam would help loosen my congestion. Up I went to the bathroom, ran myself a very hot bath, added some peppermint bath soak, and settled in for a nice, quiet, rejuvenating time. All of a sudden, there she was!

Grin and all.

Over the course of the bath she asked approximately 473 questions, (including, “when I am big will I have a shaver like you?”), made 833 statements (including, “When I am big and I have a shaver, I will keep it HIGH up! So MY 3-year-old will not cut herself!”), told me my bath was WAY too hot, offered me six soggy tissues and pointed out every spot I missed on my legs at least four times. She asked me at least seven times when I was going to shave my other leg!

So much for a nice, long, quiet soak! Oh, well… At least I got both legs shaved, and Sweet Geek can crawl into bed with a smooth-legged wife. There will be no wondering, no hedge trimmers needed, no scrambling for slacks instead of a skirt, and I can keep my favorite pair of shoes! No need to give them up for a glimpse into his mind –at least not yet. So I will enjoy them for a little while longer while I remain blissfully ignorant of the workings of the male mind. And, after all, mystery keeps life interesting! Very, VERY interesting! I think I’ll just hang on to my favorite shoes!


tia said...

I just want to know what he would do with your favorite pair of shoes anyway?!?!?!?

Dawn Marie said...

I don't know! Sell them? Hold them over me? Give them to me in place of a new Christmas present? But it is the expression of the intense desire to know what is going on in his head. Yes, sometimes that IS worth my favorite pair of shoes!

Dawn Marie said...

She did it again yesterday!! "Mom, you missed a spot...there and there and there!"