Friday, October 9, 2009

Smart Men Contest

So I wanted to fill you all in on what it was that rendered "A", the head of the Aflac state organization, speechless. When I shared with his brother, "C", what had transpired, he assured me that it was the first time that A had EVER been at loss for words in his entire life.

The thought of it still makes me giggle!

So here we all were at this wonderful, exclusive restaurant, in a private room, and somehow that day, we poor women were more than outnumbered. All of us ladies, being friends, migrated to the same of the two tables, and sat together; the few women and three men. The ENTIRE other table was men. So A ended up at the other table. At one point he came over to say HI to all of us. He said, "So is this the table for the women?" Without even thinking, I replied,

"The women and the SMART men!"

A stood there for a moment (with a blank look on his face), then shook his head, and stammered "I have nothing to say to that." And turned and walked away. Another Aflac executive (a SMART man) was seated at the ladies table and said, "Well played!"

This little anecdote simply makes me giggle every time I think of it! The look on A's face was absolutely priceless. ZING! I got him! And good.

He has probably forgotten it. He likely forgot before he even left the restaurant. But I never will. For a small beans agent -with no delusions of grandeur- to be able to out-wit the big man in the state... Well, I will cherish the memory forever. And another Spirit Award dinner will give me a chance to see if he even remembers -and make sure he never forgets again.

Well, I am not THAT mean!

Maybe just a little!

I sound very full of myself. However, I am sure there will be plenty of times over the next few months that you will hear about my clumsy and embarrassing moments. I just wanted my first walk down memory lane to show that I DO have good moments! Well, at least I have ONE! So when you hear about me spilling food down the front of me, tripping and trying to make it look like I meant to do that, or actually tumbling over my own two feet and falling in the store (I hope no one could SEE this), you will be able to say, "Well there was that ONE time that she DID have grace and wit!" And that will get you through it all!

What time in your life did you show exceptional wit? Share your stories, and the best on will be published in this blog -and you just might get a little gift! More details tomorrow!

I can't wait to hear about your wit!

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Whale and Argyle Socks.

SOME women BREEZE through pregnancy.

I am not one of them.

SOME women feel better pregnant than not.

I am not one of them either.

SOME women don't need maternity clothes until the end of their second trimester (that is what "The Book" says about maternity.)

Uhm-hmm! Not ME!

SOME women barely show for months!

I am ABSOLUTELY not one of them!

One morning, only 8 weeks along, I woke up to get ready for work, and could not get my pants to button. Here I was, early in the morning, frantically searching through boxes of maternity clothes (untouched for nearly four years) for ANYTHING resembling professional wear. I arrived a little late, and in something a little less than appropriate.

Hey! The last time I was pregnant, there was no career in sight!

SOME women look GREAT right up until the end!

I am not one of those women.

I look something like this:

Now, due to tradition ever since I got married, my sister and I are pregnant together. She is 8 months pregnant, and unlike me, she looks like this:

I can almost hear "Isn't She Lovely" playing in the background.

Now to add to my current lack of attraction, I have SPIRIT!

Are you wondering what I mean by that? Well, allow me to enlighten you! Twice a year, the company I work for has a huge meeting, awards banquet and party. The region who shows the most "spirit" (i.e. yelling, screaming, signs, costumes, noisemakers, etc....) is rewarded with an exclusive dinner at a fancy restaurant.

My region won last time, and it was wonderful! We ate here. And for the first time ever (according to his brother) I rendered the top man in the state speechless.

But more about that later...

There is a golf theme, so to show we have spirit, we are wearing argyle socks...

(These are much cuter than mine.)

And khaki slacks rolled up to look like knickers.


What will that look like?

Let's look at that picture of me again:

Well, if I had photoshop -which I don't- perhaps I could help you envision that.

But instead you will have to use your imagination.;

That is probably funnier anyway.

I hope you can laugh at me!

'Cause I sure can!!!

NO! I WON'T post pictures!